A rich life

Submitted by Irene… (Irene is on the far left, Olivia is next to her, then Cynthia/Eugene)

Ever since I was little, I thought that it was necessary for me to study hard and to find a good job in order for me to live a comfortable life. Whatever values society upheld, I would try to follow. As a result I often set lofty goals for myself and believed that success would bring me security in life.  I believed that as long as I was competent, it would make up for my character flaws.  However, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do in the future and so felt quite lost.  By the time I was a freshman in college, I wanted to cut myself off from others and stay in the library every day.  But my roommates tried to take me out to participate in our department activities, and I got annoyed by their continual requests so I ended up joining many clubs. I found myself often becoming jealous of my good friends, because they were always more extroverted, humorous, and popular.  When I became an upperclassman in college, I was determined to go back to my previous goal of being studious but soon ended up just wasting a lot of time watching TV and listening to music on the internet.  As I reflect back on my college years, I realized that it was my fears, insecurities and competitiveness that made it difficult for me to get along with my friends; and what I chased after were ultimately temporary pleasures.

After graduation, I was able to get a job at Deloitte in the Hsinchu Science Park, partly because it was close to my home.  During the summer of 2007, as I was taking a break from work to prepare for the TOEFL test in the library, I saw a poster announcing that a group of Berkeley students were going to be hosting the English Corner program sponsored by the Foreign Language department and decided to check it out.  It turned out that the group was the Gracepoint mission team, though I didn’t know it at the time.  At that session, I was able to meet and get to know Cece Woo.  We had an enjoyable conversation, and it seemed like she genuinely wanted to get to know me, even though I wasn’t even a college student.  After she went back to Berkeley, around the following Christmas, I got an email from her notifying me that there would be a Christmas Celebration at NCTU.  It wasn’t until then that I realized these people I met in the summer were Christians.  At the Christmas Celebration, the speaker talked about how life is like a race, and he asked, “What is motivating you to run? How satisfied will you be when you get to the finish line?  What is the ultimate meaning of life?”  At that time I worked every day until 11:00 PM.  I had thought that getting into a big firm meant I would find that sense of security and better opportunities for me to advance in my future career. But I ended up feeling very tired both physically and emotionally.  I did not have any time to spend with family and friends.  I was impacted and touched by the message that night as it closely described my life.

I wanted to continue to get to know these people so I started going out to Friday Night Plus. Through the weekly messages and Course 101, which is a course on Christian foundations, I gradually learned that Jesus is not an illusion produced by religion; he was a real historical figure; that the Bible is not just myth or fairy tale, but something that we can really rest our lives upon.  I came to know that this God cares about what was in my heart and greatly values his relationship with me and my relationship with others.  This God is very different from idols in a temple, which I used to worship only when I had some need.  Course 101 talked about how sin is essentially selfishness and pride.  Initially I thought the term “sin” was too severe.  Because I had gotten used to conflicts in life, I didn’t think there was any problem with tense relationships (or that there was any problem with me). From Course 101, I learned that sin is so serious that Jesus couldn’t just simply tell us to stop making mistakes, that we couldn’t simply resolve not to be bad anymore.  I had tried to be an easy-going, good and gentle person. But in reality these were often just fleeting thoughts in my head that quickly disappeared before it came to fruition.  My temporary friendliness quickly ran out of steam and my true self would return to reveal its true colors.  The consequence of sin is that Jesus had to die on the cross.  If every sin deserves its just punishment, then, isn’t it true that my acts of evil also put Jesus on the cross?  The cross also demonstrated God’s love for us because when Jesus bore the consequence for my sins, I was able to receive forgiveness. Romans 5:6-8 says, “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus’ unconditional sacrifice and love for each of us far exceeded our love for others, which is based on personal preference and an evaluation of how someone can benefit me.  I have never experienced such love before.  From the Bible, I also learned that every person is precious in God’s eyes.  No matter how messed up I am, he is still willing to draw near to me.  It came to a point when I realized that if God loves me this much and is also willing to forgive my sins, then he is a God who is worthy to follow. Therefore, at the Winter Retreat, on March 1, 2009, I surrendered my life and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.

Now my worldview is more down to earth.  I know there is more to life than career and ambition.  When society chases after some new trend or fad, I don’t have to feel so confused, because the Bible guides me down a path towards a rich life.  I know that in the end, money, career and appearance are not reliable, but that I can rely on God’s word for my life.  I also finally saw people around me and friends I had lost touch with clearly. They are no longer competitors, but people that I need to learn to care for. In the past I was often bothered by what others thought of me, now I remind myself not to be so calculative about what I can gain in any relationship, but rather learn this kind of forgiving, embracing and accepting love from God. I want to learn to pray more and to trust God.  I want to continue to study the Bible, and allow God to be Lord over my life, not just in what I say, but to learn from my friends at church how to joyfully give, to care for family, friends and coworkers.