When I look back on the past four years of my life, three major life-transforming decisions come to mind.  The first was committing myself to my small group, second committing myself to God and third, committing myself to God’s work.

The first milestone in committing myself to my small group occurred during winter retreat of my sophomore year.  My boyfriend and I had just broken up and I was with my small group in our cabin.  I think as a sign of comfort to me, one of the girls started sharing what she was struggling with, and one by one each of us shared something in our past that deeply scarred us. Praying for each other, I began to see my small group as real people with real hurts, rather than just a group of random girls I was affiliated with through church.

The pain of the breakup also shook me up enough to make me think about what I was pursuing in life.  Suddenly, it didn’t make sense to me anymore to go through the façade of parties or attention seeking culture that is common to the college experience.  What is more, I saw a genuine community before me pursuing real questions in life and living with sincerity and generosity.  I remember multiple times in the following month that I would call Jessica crying and she would immediately come, meet me wherever I was on campus, and pray for me.

So as they committed to me, I committed to them.  Since I had pre-dental club meetings during our normal small group time, I decided to give up that club and just meet with the girls.  I also devoted a lot of time to getting to know them by studying with them and sleeping over at their places.  In a given week, I would probably sleep at Tina’s place for four nights, Ellen’s place for two nights and my own place one night.  Most of the time I would only stop by home to shower and get a change of clothes.  Teresa told me that someday I would make a great missionary because I was so used to packing up and sleeping wherever.

As our relationships deepened, I was also given the opportunity to stretch my heart and care for them.  I remember getting random phone calls, sometimes waking me up at 2AM and walking over to unit 1 with Bear Walk to talk to one of my small group girls.  Through these experiences, I saw the strength of true community and the satisfaction of engaging my time to care for these girls that I had committed to and were committed to me.  So even though my old friends tried to guilt trip me into joining them for parties, even to the extent of buying me new clubbing clothes just to entice me to come out with them, I knew inside that I was making the right choice.

Surrounding myself with people that also wanted to pursue God really helped me to take God seriously.  My ears opened and I was convicted bible study after bible study, Sunday sermon after Sunday sermon of the truth of the gospel.  Getting closer to my leader also helped me with the day to day questions I had about our church or living out Christian life.  Poor Hannah, I would almost weekly have two hour conversations with her, asking what probably seemed like unending questions.  But it was through those conversations that I began to understand the heart behind our church and trust its work.

My commitment to God occurred through many smaller steps.  First, it was structuring my life so that I had time for Him and His people.  This meant getting rid of the old stuff that was clearly immoral or just plainly a waste of time.  I stopped going to parties, drinking, clubbing, listening to my favorite R&B/hiphop artists like Usher, and I stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, and Korean dramas.  With all of this gone, I had a lot of free time on my hands.  I finally started going to the post-bible study activities and spent time with the community.  Furthermore, staying in Berkeley over the summers taking summer school helped me to solidify these relationships and utilize the less hectic schedule to pursue my relationship with God.

Secondly, I started reading Christian books and doing DTs with my small group girls regularly.  In light of my past, Psalm 51 and Psalm 23 were passages that comforted me.  I found peace in the descriptions of the Lord as my shepherd, leading me beside peaceful quiet waters, guiding me in paths of righteousness, restoring my soul.  I experienced daily how He provided for me to the point of my cup overflowing and I trusted that He would have mercy on me and cast out my sins making me whiter than snow.  And I saw that no matter what I was going through, the bible had an answer for me, a way to correct my posture so that I could endure and still have hope.

Thirdly, I committed myself to God’s work.  Being actively involved in ministry really solidified my conviction that the gospel is true because I saw it played out in the neediness of the different girls I was ministering to.  I no longer wanted to be tricked into pursuing the things of this world, so I made a commitment to take every opportunity to fill the needs that came up.  I wanted it to be clear to myself that my life’s priority was serving God and not pursuing my own ambitions.

God took my commitment seriously and challenged me on many different occasions.  While I did take the opportunity to serve in different ministries at our church, it was the little daily decisions that were hard to make.  It was particularly difficult when I would have multiple midterms the next day and a younger sister would text asking if I was free to talk.  I wanted to just text back that I had midterms, but on each occasion, I found that it was well worth it going to talk to them.  I learned that the struggle for me was always fighting past my initial selfishness, but once I was there talking to her, hearing her problem, it was so easy to see that she was much more important to me than some test.  After multiple experiences like this, the decisions to go and leave other things behind only became easier because I knew it was worth it in the end.

Also, choosing to go lead DT group at a particular time even though I knew that I had a midterm right after that I wasn’t prepared for was difficult.  But I wanted to make it clear in my own heart what I was living for, so I would choose to go.  There were many times like these, where I had to prioritize God’s work even when I felt like I had no time.  But God was always faithful to me and well worth my commitment.

Through being engaged in God’s work I was also challenged to develop useful practical skills to meet those needs.  I learned how to develop lesson plans for ImpACT, make flyers with photoshop, give worldview presentations for Interhigh, lead someone in Course 101, estimate in cooking for a larger crowd, and even learned how to sew!  But I can only say that learning to serve in these ways have only enriched my experience of the joy of God’s work.  Seeing the children’s shine in their eyes as they learn or discussing with my Interhigh mentees about how media affects them fills me with wonder for how God works in various peoples lives.  Remembering my own pursuit of meaninglessness in this world, I can testify that it’s truly by grace that God saves, plucking people out of their destructive lives and placing opportunities in their life to take small yet large steps toward a life spent with Him.

In reflecting over the past four years, I find that it was these three main commitments, and their smaller supporting commitments that shaped me.  I hardly realized all that God was doing in my life at the time, but at each step of the way I knew what was the right thing to do and I just followed.  In Mark 1, Jesus says, “Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Now that I’m ending an important chapter of my life and reflecting on the past 4 years, I can see how God has changed my life and has directed me to a better path. I first came into Berkeley excited for my new independence away from my parents and ready to make new friends and have that good college life. Moving into the dorms sounded so exciting: having roommates who I can constantly talk with and just chill with. I really wanted close friends who really knew me and who I really knew. Unfortunately, I did not understand what it took to for people to really know me. A lot of things prevented my getting close to people: mainly my own laziness and my default nature of being unreflective. My goal was to do as little as possible. There were times I would close the door to my room and pretend to be sleeping to avoid chatting with my floor-mates. Such laziness led to my being un-relational because I wasn’t willing to put in the hard work that comes with building relationships nor was I willing to participate in the rubbing of lives that result in deeper connections. I kept people at a distance and didn’t even realize it. Ironically, I felt left out a lot because I expected so much out of relationships when I put in so little time and so little effort.

Not only was I lazy, but I was also detached. Although I recognized my own apathy and disconnectedness through bible studies and messages, I was quick to forget and never really reflected on what God really meant to me.  Any time I felt uneasy about my spiritual life, I would distract myself with media watching shows like like Grey’s Anatomy, movies, reading romance novels, watching anime, manga, and playing all sorts of video games like final fantasy or play w/ play station, guitar hero, wii. I just wanted to have fun and be comfortable; so the best way to do that was to ignore everything else. It wasn’t until winter retreat freshman year where I heard about God’s faithfulness and the love he has for us that I made my decision to commit my life to Jesus; however, I really didn’t understand what it meant to be a Christian. So although I made my decision, there was no change in my life.

Then came sophomore year. I lived with other girls who attended Gracepoint.  It was the first time to live in such close proximity to people I wasn’t related to and we all had different defenses up. Half of us were passive-aggressive about things and the other half just didn’t care. I couldn’t stand the tension in the apartment, so I stayed out as often as I could by studying at the library or playing games at Anime club.  Even after the 2008 winter retreat where I felt convicted again to give God my entire life and not slices of it, I never put my words into action. The following spring semester I reached a spiritual drought and found myself not caring. I might have done DT three times the whole semester and found excuses to not go to prayer meeting, bible study, or after bible study activities. As sophomore year progressed, I also found myself more and more hardened to my sins of laziness, lust, and selfishness and content with my minimal level of commitment to God.  I lived in this bubble and my laziness had consumed my character into a slothful, dishonest, unreflective, and apathetic person.

The summer of 2008 was a major turning point for me. The tension in our apartment resulted in a roommate moving out and I wondered why I was so unhappy over the situation.  And at the same time, I was frustrated with the lack of change in my life even though I made a decision my freshman year. So I became resolved to take my faith more seriously because I saw how detached I had been.  I decided to take the free time I had that summer up here at Berkeley to root myself in God’s Word. I committed to being more mentally and physically involved in church and doing DT more regularly.

Through that time, I experienced how having a community of faith is crucial in providing the support and accountability I needed. It revealed the problems in how I related with people, and how my laziness made me focus my attention on myself and not on God. My leader pointed out the fact that I needed to repent for keeping God at arm’s length. The sad part is that I was shocked because I hadn’t seen it that way and I actually thought I was okay. However, the only reason why I felt “okay” was because I was keeping God at a distance, forgetting things very easily and not reflecting on my actions. I saw the depth of my sinfulness, that my main identity is one of a sinner, truly wretched before God. I re-evaluated how I viewed God. Did I view Him as my Creator, my Savior, my Lord? Yes, I did. But I realized that at the same time, I had this barrier that prevented me from wanting to get to know God more and to build a personal relationship. I had forgotten that Jesus died on the cross for my sake and I struggled with the fact that He loved me and I needed to return that love. All my acts of selfishness and pride hurt God, the father who celebrates the return of His prodigal son. So that summer I re-committed my life to God.

It was in junior year when God changed my heart on how to view community and my part in God’s larger narrative. I really caught the vision of our church especially after the Mon-Saturday series, junior discipleship, and through Church 101. Christianity became an active life rather than the passive religion I thought it to be: actively putting other people’s needs before mine, actively fleeing from evil desires, actively pursuing righteousness. The only way for me to get closer to others was to tear down my barriers and get past my comfort level of laziness.  I’ve found that with every time I get up out of my bed to chat with my roommates or eat lunch with someone I get to know people on a different level than when I had in my freshman year. Sharing during DT is hard at times since I’ve been so unreflective before but the more often I do DT, the more the Bible teaches me about how I need to honor my relationships and not use laziness as an excuse to not take up my cross. Like it says in 2 Timothy 2:3, 10 “Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus…If we endure, we will also reign with him” I needed to learn to endure hardships, pain, and life because if I continued to ignore my surroundings I wouldn’t be able to live a life of faith since I would continuously be running away. Like a soldier, I needed to train my body and overcome my slothfulness with diligence and the love of Christ.

Just this past year has taught me so much more and has cemented the fact that I need a community so that I can flourish under God’s truth and protection. When I confessed a sin in my life that I had been struggling with, I got to experience God’s love, forgiveness, and grace through my small-group. For the first time in my life, I felt that there were people who knew all of me and I felt the richness and freedom in my relationship. I also had the chance to go on the Taiwan winter mission trip which pushed me out of my comfort zone as I reached out to people who didn’t speak English. I was also given the chance to lead Course 101 this semester, further solidifying my Christian foundations and teaching me to be faithful in preparing for course and how to articulate the gospel.

After these four years, I thank God who has watched over me and has spoken to me through all the messages and through my relationships. He has given me a community grounded in biblical truth that has drawn me out from the isolated state that my laziness and desire for comfort put me in.

Coming into Berkeley, I expected to learn and experience a lot of new things. Attending one of the top educational institutions in the world, I learned a lot (or at least, I think I learned a lot). And having spent my time with various people, I have definitely come upon a lot of new experiences. But my past four years has been defined by how I came to an understanding of God’s love for me and really experiencing that in the process of obeying him.

2 Kings 5: 1-2: “Now Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded, because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram. He was a valiant soldier, but he had leprosy.”

Coming into college, I never would have thought that I would be where I am today. Four years ago, I was just a typical Korean nerd from Irvine with lofty dreams about the future. I thought that I could do everything and nothing was going to get in my way. This was my plan: I would get into Haas after two years, outperform all my classmates, work internships off to the side, graduate and get a lucrative job, get married and raise a happy family until I retire and die. I wanted to control my own life and call all the shots. I took course 101 my freshman year and the material quickly talked about sin and how it was the “I” problem. As I learned more about sin, I started to recognize it more in my life. I may have sounded and acted tough but really, I was insecure and unstable inside. I was worried about so many things regarding the future but was trying to hide it. There was so much sin lodged deep into my heart but I was too proud to admit it. I was just like Naaman who had everything under control on the external but he was sick with leprosy. I knew that I needed to be saved from my sins and that my life was meaningless without any kind of purpose. I was a really proud and selfish person who was only looking out for my own concerns. I had a lot of worldly values that I needed to work on getting rid of in my life and I was ultimately heading into destruction. This was when I was getting a glimpse of God’s love for me as I recognized that he was willing to forgive someone like me who had failed to obey him in the past. I decided to make my salvation decision at the winter retreat of my sophomore year recognizing that God loved me and forgave me of my sin and rebellion.

I experienced God’s love especially in senior year. There were a lot of personal struggles and issues that I was dealing with throughout my junior year and it all accumulated just before my senior year. I had sinned against God, my leaders and my peers. I got caught up in a lot of self-deception and I ended up lying to everyone regarding sins in my life. I hurt many people and I thought that I could never be forgiven for what I did. It was during this time that I was able to see myself a lot more clearly as sins that were lodged deep into the depths of my heart were exposed. I felt so ashamed and unworthy. I did not deserve to be called a Christ-follower and I misrepresented everything that this Christ-centered community stood for. I crossed boundaries that I know that I shouldn’t have and I thought that no one would forgive me. I would totally understand if they didn’t. I was a hypocrite, liar, deceiver who only brought pain and difficulty to peoples’ lives. Why bother with me at all? It would only be a waste of time for anyone to deal with me at this point, I thought. No one had to care for me anymore and I was expecting to be forgotten about.

The response that I received from the people in my life and God was not what I expected. Throughout this time, I was always asking God, “Why so much love? Don’t you remember what I did?” I broke trust and loyalty in the relationships my peers because of my sins. I betrayed every single one of them.  I was living in Dana House and I thought that it would be so difficult to be with my peers because of what I did. But instead of looking down upon me, I was loved that much more. Every time that I was depressed and drowned in self-pity, my peers were always willing to sit down and talk things through with me. When I needed prayer, there was someone who prayed with and for me. When I needed accountability, my peers were always sure that I would be firm to my commitments. I asked myself again, “Why so much love?” During this time, I was applying to jobs and I submitted over 200 resumes, received only 7 interviews and a countless number of rejections. There was a lot of suspense building up to that one job offer and when it finally came, it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. I know why: the day that I received my job offer was the same day as our last Dana House dinner and more than gaining a job, I was saddened by the fact that I would be leaving the brotherhood I experienced in that house. As we were sharing our memories from the past year and the things we learned and experienced while at the house, I couldn’t help myself from tearing up. Despite how I had betrayed each and every single one of them, I received so much mercy, grace and love from all of them. I still remember the day when I asked them for their forgiveness and how each of them embraced me and forgave me. “Why so much love?” What have I done to deserve such a community of brothers?

I broke a lot of the leaders’  trust and I thought my relationships with them would never be restored. But my leaders did not let go of me and loved me that much more. They spent time with me to talk things through, went on prayer retreats with me, property corrected me, desperately prayed for me, and led me into the direction of repentance. I deserved to be left abandoned but instead, my leaders accepted me as the wretched sinner that I am and loved me under their care. “Why so much love?” What have I done to deserve such loving leaders?

Because of my past sins, I felt unqualified to do any kind of outreach or ministry during this time. I really wanted to as my heart was with the college campus but I just felt that I could not because of how much of a mess-up I was. But my leaders and peers continued to consider me a partner in the kingdom work we were doing together on the Berkeley campus. I was amazed as to how much my they trusted me to be a part of the great work we were doing on this campus. As we were trying to love and pray for the freshman, I really got to experience how God could use wretched sinners like me to carry out kingdom work. “Why so much love?” What have I done to receive the privilege of serving in God’s kingdom? And it has been such a joy this past year to see God working in the freshman guys. I have been so blessed by them and truly God is transforming their lives as they struggle through their sins. Before I left for Winter Break, I received a thank you card from them and all of them signed it thanking me for the past semester. Although it was only one card and a small act of appreciation, I could not keep myself from tearing up. I found myself reading through the card over and over again and could only ask God, “Why so much love?”  What have I done to deserve such blessing and joy in my life? I would struggle with God saying to him “God, I don’t deserve this, I really don’t. I am unworthy of all of this.”

I felt so unworthy of such mercy, grace and love from God. It was hard for me to accept God’s forgiveness. I thought to myself that it couldn’t be that easy. No one would let me go without any kind of punishment. But this is the love that I experienced from God. Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I never knew that I could be loved so much and it was when I embraced God’s forgiveness that I truly understood and experienced God’s love.

As I am about to graduate and finish my time at college, what I am going to take with me is my personal experience of God’s love. I have changed a lot since my freshman year but it wasn’t due to my own ability and willpower but it was by God’s mercy, grace and love.

These past few days I meditated on what’s the most drastic way my life has changed because of God and it would be becoming part of His community.  Coming into college I was very withdrawn from the world, I was so used to retreating into books, my thoughts and my studies to drive the reality of my life away. I had been miserable for a long time due to mostly what seemed constant family problems and financial worries. My coping mechanism was to bottle things up and ignore as much as I could, to care less and it basically left me this shell of a person because I just wasn’t all there. There is now a strong sense within me that I’m not alone, that I belong, that I can feel at rest and be fully known and accepted.  It’s not so much about my steps of faith but about people’s faithfulness to me. God protected me in ways Ill probably never know, he brought many people into my life to be there for me, help me, and show me his love and care. I can only marvel at how God has led me all the way, and I’m filled with a sense of gratitude that I’m loved this much.

My first impression of our church was through Chris Gilling and David Tung who lived on my dorm floor freshman year. I had a general impression that everyone was really nice but it was through Chris and David that I had that first small glimpse of that a sense of community. They opened up their ‘home’ to us. That small dorm room with two loft beds and the futon and table where they drank tea and played board games. I appreciated their willingness to love us and give of themselves. Even simple things like coming over everyday and asking us how our day was, telling us jokes and helping us when we needed it. I remember Myra Dharma asking me questions to get to know me and even a simple thing like how my day was caused me to pause a long time because I couldn’t remember the last time someone asked me that and I didn’t know how quite to answer it. I didn’t talk much that year but I did try to listen. It was through small group times with Myra and Emily that I was able to express and think about those important questions such as the purpose of my life. It must have been difficult for Chris, David, Myra and Emily since all the effort for a relationship was all on their part I just showed up to things but never fully let myself feel at home in their presence.

That sense of being an outsider has carried over from my past and kept me from fully embracing my true identity and accepting grace and love from others. It’s not because the fact that I’m of a different race but I couldn’t see how my burdens could be understood and carried by others. I was too wrapped up in my own problems and hurt to ask for help and lean on others. However, it was through Pastor Ed’s messages and reading the bible that I was able to accept myself as a sinner and understand God’s love and began to trust him more. I started to take small steps of obedience to get out of myself and open up to others and was able to receive wisdom and love. I remember so many conversations with Emily, her countless prayers for me and her patience in helping me figure out what was wrong. I know she has loved me because of her faithfulness to God and because I was shown God’s love I too wanted to love others although it was hard for me.

Some of the greatest points of clarity have come from my interactions and conversations with others as I tried to sort out my struggles and emotions. It has been their voice of stability and truth that I learned to trust and recognize that they understood and wanted to help me. It has been dt sharing with peers and their stories from how they tackled their own pride or insecurities. Its meeting up at a café to talk with a peer during a time when I was so full of self pity over my family’s brokenness and her telling me you know you’re not the only broken family in the world and also reminding me how lucky we are to live in America. Its been confessing to my leader how frustrating it is to struggle over the same things over and over again and lamenting over my wrong motives or major character flaws and her leading me to the word of God and giving me practical advice and prayer. There have been so many conversations like this that helped me to finally act and move forward in my faith.

One of the hardest yet life changing struggle this year has been growing in my relationship with others. As I was finally able to live with peers, (8 to be exact) and getting to know more peer sisters I recognized the absolute importance of sharing what’s going on in my life. What is going on in my heart and in my mind because life is hard and there is always something to talk about. I have prayed much more this year not just for myself but for others, and in the process of opening up my life I’ve experienced being immersed in theirs and having a greater sense of fellowship as sisters in Christ. All the perceived differences and assumptions I made now seem so small and petty. Yes we are very different but what draws us together, is our love for God and the desire to be discipled and serve him. I struggled a lot this year with letting down my guard because I was trying to protect my heart and trying to act very competent. I had to learn to be a lot more honest rather than letting insecurity paralyze me from being known.

Spending time with my peers and engaging in conversations was what finally brought change. It was through many late night conversations when we talked about how the word of God spoke to us or shed some light on our past and the struggles we are dealing with now. I recognized now that Pastor Ed’s messages pierced me so often because of the universality of emotions and scars from sin. We all know how it feels to be hurt, misunderstood, judged, angry, frustrated, disappointed and burdened.  Our experiences may be very different because sin might manifest itself in so many ways but at the core the root issues are similar. I am a sinner in need of grace as much as everyone else.  After all the time I spent together with my peers I felt so much more comfortable, simple things like cooking random meals and making fun of each other to asking for help and a willingness to listen and pray that I found that sense of ownership for one another grow. I’m sure God brought my peers and I for a reason and I see now I had been missing out on the powerful strength of our relationships. They can be the voices of comfort and love, of truth and correction if I let them in my life. I can’t recount the ways they have shown me patience and care time and time again.

During the recent disciple retreat Pastor Ed gave some applicable advice that I wished I had understood a long time ago. He said just because someone doesn’t understand you doesn’t mean they can’t give you good advice. This helped me because I always struggled with feeling misunderstood. He also commented that its through relationships you can conquer sins. Your kidding yourself if you think you have the willpower to say no to sin but its that bond from relationships that stems from being committed to people and the shared history that will bring you back when you are tempted to sin. I had perceived relationships and struggling with sin in two different categories instead of viewing it as integrated Christian life. I felt so encouraged to continue my struggle to be fully committed to others and make them part of my life. I feel more than ever now that this is the place God wants me to be. I can let my burdens down and finally rest no longer so fearful of being seen as a sinner or getting hurt or ‘not fitting in’ but looking forward toward the life God has called us to live. I finally understand the heart cry of God he mentions so much in the Old Testament, “You will be my people and I will be your God.” Indeed we serve a great God and there is no other way I want to live but deeply rooted in community, filled with a greater sense of identity as God’s people.

Looking back on my high school days, I shudder when I think of some of the decisions I made. While for me it was a time of adjustment and trial, having just emigrated from Mexico, I also remember those days with a strange fondness, for I discovered many things about life. One of these things was that I had a void in my heart and longed for something more. I did not know what that was, but I expected it to fulfill my life. I tried filling this hole with many things, including academic success, popularity, friends, extracurricular achievements and a romantic relationship, but all these failed to fill that void. It was not until I reached college and started learning about the Gospel of Jesus that I understood that the void I had been feeling all along in my high school days was the void for unconditional love that only God could fill. I resolved to put my trust in Jesus and allowed him to sit on throne of my life. When the opportunity to be a mentor through InterHigh came up, I signed up with the hope of being able to relate to the youth because of the struggles I faced when I was in high school. It was during those days that I wandered farther away from God, and through InterHigh I wanted to reach out to those who could be going through the same situation.

At first I thought that I would not be a good candidate because I had messed up so much during high school. I thought that given my bad record I would not be a good example for the youth. This came to show how I still held onto this very self-centered attitude toward serving God. I realized that if I only wanted to do the things that I felt qualified for, then I was telling God that what He did for me on the cross was not enough. I was telling Him that He could only use a certain portion of my life I felt confident about, and hold back the parts that I felt more ashamed of. But as Pastor Will talked about the vision of InterHigh, about the Christian youth that abandon their faith when they go to college due to the lack of strong foundations, like-minded peers, and mentors, I was ashamed of my self-centeredness and God put in my heart the urgency for the youth. Thinking of the ways that I had broken God’s heart in my youth days, I wanted to volunteer as a mentor to help the youth by being a good influence living out my faith in college.

Now I am a mentor for a group of 6th graders. Even though my mentee has not attended InterHigh monthly regularly, we keep in touch by emailing one another. And although it is a challenge sometimes to get sixth graders to talk or share, I am really happy to be a part of their life through this ministry. I’m in awe of how God has been using us as a church to be part of a movement that seeks to empower the youth with knowledge of their faith. As I look back at the Rise event last fall, and the four InterHigh Monthly events we have had, I am amazed and so thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to be part of this wonderful ministry. I thank Him for being a God who doesn’t frown and look away because of my past, but instead shows me mercy, loves me, and redeems me. Praise God as he has brought so many youth from the Bay Area to InterHigh where we can share the love of Christ and together take a stand for Jesus.

The long awaited NTU (National Taiwan University) discussion small group “Pause” finally started on October 7, 2009 (clap + cheer)! Two years after Koinonia came to Hsinchu, Taiwan, we’re finally in a new city and new campus, making connections with new friends. This was very exciting and meant a lot to me.

I really liked the feeling of everybody coming together, working hard for a common purpose. This kind of community and fellowship was really attractive and brought so much strength to me. Beforehand, Carmen created our Pause flyer, Dino and Yang helped publicize on PPT, Mike prepared the discussion content, Eugene contacted an NTU professor about borrowing a classroom, and there were the delicious cookies Tim made by hand, as well as fruit and drinks prepared by Cynthia. All of the preparations were so that our NTU Pause event could go smoothly. Seeing the staff so excited to carefully plan everything made me feel very honored that I can serve together with the rest of our church to invite NTU students to come and share in the life and friendship I have experienced in the past at Koinonia.

Wednesday. Taipei. Weather was cold but hearts were nevertheless so full and satisfied.

I was very pleased to have four new friends join us for the first event. It reminded me of the story of the first Bible study in Koinonia Hsinchu where there were also four friends who joined. Such a coincidence really excited me and made me also look forward to how God will use Pause to begin to quietly impact NTU.

I’m very grateful to God for allowing me to have this kind of time after a busy day of work to slow down in the middle of the week and be able to fellowship with other church members and even start serving at church. This kind of feeling is even better than the happiness I felt when I was admitted to my first-choice university or when I won first place in a competition. It just seems so surreal because I couldn’t have imagined that one day I would begin to help out at church or even invite others to participate in church activities, it is so incredible (LOL)! Now after our first lively and warm gathering, I proudly look forward to the next gathering, to a new discussion topic and new friends we will meet, but also hope that through this little opportunity to serve I can better understand God’s heart and grow in faith. Praise the Lord and thank God for allowing me to join in His kingdom work.

I wanted to share a video we made for the Hsinchu brothers and sisters to encourage them, as they are part of the 1% of Christians in Taiwan.

Gracepoint Fellowship Church of Berkeley, CA had the privilege of participating in World Vision’s 30-Hour Famine for the second time this year. Starting in May, Gracepoint Fellowship Church members – from Pastor Ed and his wife Kelly Kang, to youth and college students, from elementary students to their parents – geared up for the fast.  A total of about 600 people signed up and got to work finding sponsors and thinking of creative ways to collect donations.

In the end, Gracepoint Berkeley raised over $115,000, surpassing last year’s amount! We were tremendously grateful to have raised so much in the midst of these tough economic times.  Though what we did for the 30-Hour Famine was such a small step in helping the cause of fighting poverty, we gained so much through this experience. We hope that the abiding memory of this will serve to constantly remind us of how blessed we are, and that we will live with the posture of giving, as we saw that it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.

Read the full story here!

Esther and I were on the top bunks, adjacent to each other, and Alice and Sunny were on the bottom I think.  Sophisticated Sunny dressed in all black, though it was close to Austin weather during the retreat to maintain her composure, while the rest of us were in shorts, t-shirts and tennis shoes.

Ordinary Alice, Sophisticated Sunny, Too Cool Esther and Tomboy Jeannie…20 years ago, if any one of our leaders had come and told us that we would be doing what we are doing now, we would have said no way and the judgment of those leaders would have been seriously questioned.  We had the same issues the college students have now, asked the same questions on dating, on leaders’ roles in our lives, on churchmanship, and the same questions were answered during our Freshman Sunday School class and through Friday Night Bible Studies (FNBS).

If I remember correctly, the theme for the retreat that fall was “Firm Foundation,” and as we heard the messages about radical discipleship, simple life, building relationships in Christ, and becoming leaders for the 21st century, God softened and stirred and captured our hearts. One by one, through the years, as we saw our leaders blaze the trail before us through their sacrifice and service, we took our place in this amazing heritage that has been passed down to us.  Through small steps of obedience (eg. from giving up my soap operas and horror movies, to bigger things like giving up our images, giving up our independent spirits, giving up our parents’ approval, letting go of our ambition, committing our singlehood to God), we individually and together committed ourselves to building up this church and becoming those leaders that we looked up to so much as undergrads.  And what a journey it has been since!  No regrets.

Now, all my peers and I are serving full-time.  Alice helped plant Waypoint Community Church in Davis, Sunny started Gracepoint Fellowship in Austin, TX, Esther is starting Interhigh Fellowship, a youth regional ministry, and I help lead our Praxis Department here at Gracepoint Fellowship Church Berkeley.  As I look back, I am so thankful to our leaders, who trained us, molded us, shaped us, corrected and rebuked us with great patience and careful instruction, who taught us the Word of God, and who still do even now.  And I am grateful to God, for His grace, oh my…if it were not for His grace, we would not be here, believe me.  God has undeservedly and richly showered us with every spiritual blessing in Christ.  We are looking forward to the next 20 years of this journey with God and one another as God leads the way!