Rick and Sue are the directors of Kairos Christian Fellowship (pictured above), a Gracepoint Berkeley ministry. (Sue is in the front row, right side.)
I grew up in a very comfortable home and never lacked anything. For my 17th birthday my parents surprised me with a new red prelude. It wasn’t the BMW that I wanted, but I was satisfied. I wore only designer clothes and with the many changes in trends, so my wardrobe would change as well. There were many times I threw out my clothes because the trend had passed and I would no longer be caught dead wearing them. My parents did their best to provide for my sister and I, to give us the best upbringing they could. At the time, if anyone described me as being spoiled I would be very offended, but looking back, that’s the only way to describe myself – a spoiled brat.
Having been raised in the church, I’ve never doubted God, his existence or my sinfulness. I never had problems with him being my savior. I wanted a savior because I knew the kind of sinful person I was. No one had to convince me of that. But I couldn’t seem to make Jesus the Lord of my life. Still the world seemed too glorious with all of the materialistic comforts and conveniences, with all of its nice things. I had a very romantic view of the world and of life. This issue was something I struggled with throughout my undergrad years.
Senior year came and I knew that by the end of the year it was a time to decide what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to be. Being at Gracepoint for 3 years, I had learned a lot about God. I had made some important realizations and changes, but I knew that my heart was not committed to the church or to God. It was still very divided. One decision that I knew that I would be faced with upon graduation was whether or not I would stay in Berkeley or go back home to LA. Up until my senior year, my heart was bent on going back to LA. LA was home. It represented a life of comfort, of materialistic things, of relationships, of romance but most of all spiritual suicide; it represented a life of having Jesus and my own life. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that LA is this way for everyone, but for me at that time, to go back home would have been spiritual suicide.
My senior year retreat really marked my commitment, my decision to accept Jesus as my Lord and savior. There was a message on John 4, the Samaritan woman. It wasn’t the first time I had heard a message on the Samaritan woman, but it was during that time that I took a good long look into my heart and myself. I knew that the longer I prolonged making Jesus Lord of my life, the longer I would just be caught up chasing the desires of this world. I knew that even though I had everything, that ultimately, like the trends of the world, they were only momentary till the next thing. I knew that I was like the Samaritan woman, chasing after relationships and the world to be fulfilled, but it was through my senior retreat that I saw with clarity what would happen if I chose my own life. Like the Samaritan woman I would live a life seeking to be fulfilled but never finding it. That’s when I made the decision to take God seriously, to take my life seriously and to live giving authority to God.
Since then, my life has been filled with excitement and has been an amazing journey. I’m so thankful for the meaningful work God has given me to do and I can testify that God is real and living and active.
sue, i’m so glad that you decided to stay and give yourself fully to Jesus. many years down the line, you reached out to someone as lost and hopeless as me. thank you for all your love, prayer, guidance that brought me to a saving relationship with Jesus. i am so thankful to God for your continual presence in my life.
Thank you, Sue! The past three years, I had the privilege of being under your leadership, and I was so challenged to witness you daily forgoing what was comfortable or convenient to submit to God’s word and authority. During the day, you’d be working on whatever was needed at NL, and at night, you’d open your home for various groups to come over, and even later at night, you’d stay up counseling your sheep. I thank God for the decision you made years ago, as it really set the trajectory for your life. God has been so faithful!
Sue, thanks for sharing this story of your testimony. It really strikes home as this is really what I think I’ve been struggling with, facing critical decisions this senior year. I thank God for the leadership that you and Rick have given Kairos ever since you joined, and for your decision to walk with God that has produced fruit throughout the years.