Submitted by Dung
God has dignified my life by letting me serve in ImpACT. I look at my childhood with shame, because I failed to be the older brother that my younger brother needed when he was growing up. He needed love from me, but he received my fits of anger and verbal abuse. He needed comfort, but I was the major source of emotional and physical pain. It wasn’t until the end of my high school days that I felt guilt and shame, but by that time it was too late for any healing or reconciliation to happen between the two of us. It was too late to apologize. Too late to do anything real to repent, to compensate, or give consolation. Nothing. It was hopeless. The memories are still vivid for me today and I still get depressed over them whenever they surface.
I received the Gospel seven years ago, but the same old messages still amaze me today. That God loves sinners. That God makes all things new. I had always asked God to give me a second chance to be an older brother. I asked in faith, because deep down I didn’t believe it was possible with my background. In 2006 when our church was starting ImpACT again, I felt like God was answering my prayer, and I leapt at the chance to be the older brother I never was.
As a 26 year old it is embarrassing to admit that I’m still learning how to be an older brother, but many thanks be to God who uses many people, even those who are younger than me, to teach me. Josh was one such person. We were Team Leads together for the first Springfest. It was 2006 and it had actually been a long time since I had interacted with kids and I had all but forgotten how rowdy they could be and how angry I could get at that. In the past I would’ve just gotten angry, but Josh responded completely differently. He established boundaries and rules for our kids, was calm, and often talked it out with the kids to find out what was really going on. Josh doesn’t know this, but he was instrumental in teaching me to respond with care rather than anger. Whenever I explain rules or have to put a child in time-out I still have a vivid picture of Josh doing this for our first crop of ImpACT kids.
In an ironic and poetic justice kind of way God answered my prayer to be an older brother by placing into my care a child who is exactly like my little brother when he was young. His name is John. He is Vietnamese, has the same last name as I, had a very hard time listening to instructions, tested boundaries, and seemed to enjoy making people mad. This was a kid who on several occasions would tell his driver that he was at the wrong house, make his driver wander around the neighborhood just to come back to the same house and triumphantly exclaim “I tricked you!” In the past I would’ve strangled my little brother, but now I was committed to patience and loving correction. I love God’s sense of humor. Mr. Chi and Principal Jeannie can tell you how many times I had to put John in timeout and the number of talks we’ve had. I wasn’t expecting it, but as I confronted him more and more, I grew to love him more and more and was naturally driven to pray on his behalf without it feeling like a chore.
I am so thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned from working with Mr. Josh, Mr. Chi, Principal Jeannie, Principal Andy, Mr. Bruce, Principal Tony, Steven, and Wynn. I still have much more to learn, but I am thankful that through ImpACT I experience God making things new in this area of my life I once thought was hopeless.
I can’t wait to host a whole new batch of kids again this summer!
They’re here!
Just finished summer fest and immediately followed with a picnic. Our normal ImpACT schedule will begin next week and I am so EXCITED!